I have been struggling lately with feeling like it really is the Christmas season. I am not sure what to do to make it feel like it is truly Christmas, what does it mean that it is Christmas? (I would like response to this--what do you do? What does Christmas mean for you?)But right now it is going through the routine of trying to get ready and out of the house in under 2 hours, nursing, cleaning up toys, washing dishes, laundry, cleaning house, trying to finish Dave's surprise present...you know the norm. But tonight Dave and I went to our alma mater, good ol' VHS! It was the Madrigal Family and Friends concert that my cousin Tyler was performing in. I was thinking as I was watching the ways that we have changed since Dave and I were there. Past the jazz hands and show songs...we started our relationship right there in that auditorium as I fell in love with Dave watching him sing his heart out in "Big-The Musical". And yet here we are today, 2 kids later and back in school. It was an amazing concert. And I was very touched by the songs. I thought about the true meaning of life and what all of this means. I came to the conclusion that it is all about relationships we have and caring for others. I contemplated if I was any good at that, am I really living up to the dreams I had for myself as a bright-eyed Senior who had the world at her feet? Sitting in those cushy maroon chairs in the auditorium took me back.There are always ways to improve and be better and so tonight was one of those "step out of life" and analyze where I am. While at the concert my aunt Lisa told me to go and read her daughters blog when I got home. I logged on tonight and found a post where Kaylee talked about how much I have meant to her over the years and memories of our time together. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I cried reading the things she wrote. I was so touched. Christmas to me is all about family and being with them, creating memories and loving each other. I am happy to say that it now feels like Christmas and I cannot wait for Santa to get here, but not too soon, I still have work to do! :)
Thursday, December 18, 2008
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4 comments:
"I came to the conclusion that it is all about relationships we have and caring for others. I contemplated if I was any good at that, am I really living up to the dreams I had for myself as a bright-eyed Senior who had the world at her feet?"
I ask myself questions like this all the time. The truth is that I'm never going to live up to the dreams I had for myself in high school (I'm pretty sure that I don't want those dreams anymore anyway). I just have to remember that it really is about those relationships and make sure my new dreams are focused on that.
I can remember making the transition from being one of kids at Christmas to being the Mom. As a kid, Christmas is a magical and wonderful time of year, for so many reasons. As the Mom, I felt the responsibility of making it a magical time for my kids. Not that the role is better or worse, but just different and it does take time to make the transition to the new reality. It did for me anyway. Sounds like you are making the transition and doing a great job of making magical Christmas moments for your kids! Enjoy!
Thanks for sending your Christmas Card and now I can watch your kiddos grow! I have had a hard time with Christmas this year too, so you are not alone. If you didn't know, check our our blog too. hiettfam.blogspot.com Keep me on you private list! We love you and miss you!
You are so sweet! I agree that Christmas is all about family and being together. We went to deliver a sub for santa last night with all of Joe's family. It is such a special thing to get together as a family and do something to impact someone elses life. It took me till last night to get into the Spirit of Christmas but I truly am grateful for family and friends and wish that I could show how much I love a admire those in my life. Thanks for your friendship! Merry Christmas!
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